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Aunt Renee

6/28/2013

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It has been three weeks today that Austin has been gone and it feels raw and unjust. I know rational intelligent thoughts in my head, but my heart does not know the language of reason.

My heart cries because I too am a mom and have had all the hopes and dreams for my children. I have also had dreams for Austin.

I think that anyone who knew Austin had dreams for Austin. I stood in awe and wonder at his passion for knowledge and his hunger for more. His appetite for science was coupled with an extraordinary ability to digest and transform information. As I would listen to Austin my mind would wonder if I was sitting next to the person who would change humanity in some great way. Austin, I think that you are changing humanity in some great way. I just did not think that it would come in this package.

Today I hug my kids more at night. I look into their eyes when they are talking and I turn my face towards then. I feel their soft faces and know that it is a gift to be a mother and that it may not last forever. I look at the sky, rain, and clouds with more wonder. My heart has become more tender each day. I find myself wanting to be more intentional with my life and with those I love.

I have watched a family search for their missing son. I saw love demonstrated in their perseverance and their ability to noticed others who extended a hand to help or arms to cry on. I watched a community respond to the pain and suffering of others.

I am now the student and you have been the teacher. May I never forget all that you have taught me.

With much love to our family,
Aunt Renee
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Austin Hudson-Lapore, we miss him so much