When you lose someone in your life you lose a part of yourself. I wasn't a great friend of Austin Hudson-LaPore. It's only now, too late, that I appreciate how he touched my life. His constant warmth, his devotion not to being a showman but simply a man. His counsel all throughout my first year in the College. The rarity of a man who is simply GOOD. I loathe all that i cant repay him. I loathe everything that I took for granted. Most of all I loathe the inevitable -- that one day, not too long from now, I will be walking to class and impulsively wonder why I haven't encountered Austin's friendly gaze in so long.
I feel a part of myself is gone forever, blackened, stolen right alongside his beautiful existence. And all I can do is weep uncontrollably at the thought of what wasn't and what could have been as my new landlord who I've known for 2 days pats my back and says it will be okay. And the worst part: I know it will. I know the bitter sting of life's intermittent harshness fades away along with the wisdom it brings, that life will return to "normal" before long. But Austin deserves better, just as he deserved better while he lived. Rest in peace.
“Droll thing life is -- that mysterious arrangement of merciless logic for a futile purpose. The most you can hope from it is some knowledge of yourself -- that comes too late -- a crop of inextinguishable regrets.”